On friday we had an inspection at work so they could see how well we have been cleaning the Mercedes place. Apparently we didn't do very well. The stupid thing is on thursday Mariska who I work with asked a couple of times if I could clean the stand that has toy smart cars in them because her boss noticed that the stand was pretty dusty. Of course I said, and continued cleaning other things. Later on she reminded me about the stand of smart cars. Yes! I am just on my way there now. Then she asked, Oh and could you also clean the main doors, they have some fingerprints. So Whooooosh, all the thoughts about the stand of smart cars promptly leaves my head because I start cleaning the main doors and don't reenter my head until the next day when Mariska notices the stand of smart cars is still not cleaned and worse, the inspection lady would have noticed that.
So I felt pretty lousy and stupid and blah. Sure, these types of things happen to everybody but they happen to me every single day and I'm getting very tired with it and I know Myr is also getting tired of it. And my whole big idea of being focused on my schedule that is on the blackboard sort of backfired because now I do my schedule but my Dutch is suffering and I'm not noticing the little things I used to notice. So I think i'm going to go back to how it was before with a less strict schedule but more noticing of other things. So even though I'm doing my schedule (which I thought would mean less arguments with Myr) is actually provoking a lot more arguments with Myr.
So the whole of today I wasn't really there but I didn't know I wasn't really there until Myr pointed it out to me. I cooked dinner and thought I thought of all the things like tidying up after myself but I missed things that I had no clue about despite having checked the kitchen twice.
It's very tiring to be in a relationship with me I think. And I haven't been back to the doctor yet (going back on the 14th of June) but I am pretty sure that it's ADD and that he'll come back and say that.
So! I have a few ideas to fix this.
1. Double and triple check everything to make sure I haven't missed anything.
2. Stop being insecure.
3. Stop with a strict schedule that leads to not noticing the small things.
4. Take the initiative/responsibility for things.
5. Think about things before blurting out stupid questions/comments.
I'm sure there are many more things but it's almost 3am at the moment and I am glasses-less which means my left eye is twitching. I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day! I shall leave you all with a picture of...
My Grandad and me! Grandad is going in for an operation on Monday so I'm thinking about him a lot but I am sure everything will be all right. :)
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